Homilies

27th SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME: PERMANENCE OF MARITAL COMMITMENT

THE GOSPEL IS a good point for our reflection especially now that married life is in a sad state. In the Philippines, divorce is illegal, it has never been legalized. But cases of espousal separations, for many reasons, are on the rise. One phenomenon which largely contributes to this is migration. Migration, on the one hand, has helped the finances in the family, and the country’s economy as well. But, on the other, it has brought bad effects to some families, in terms of marital relationship. There are fathers or mothers who go abroad in order to keep both ends meet. Due to loneliness, they unfortunately engaged in another relationship. But, of course, this is just one of the many factors. For some, migration is not the reason. There are cases of husbands and wives who live together, but, nevertheless, they fall to marital infidelities.

Now, let us try to reflect the Christian marriage. Let us examine once again the words of Jesus in the gospel, and reflect on them:

First, he says that a man and his wife “shall become one flesh. So, they are no longer two, but one flesh.” Some people find it hard to understand the meaning of this phrase. It is impossible for the two persons to become one flesh. In fact, a man and his wife will always remain two “fleshes.” Let us take note that the unity desired here is the oneness of mind and heart. This does not happen overnight though. This takes a process. Some marriage did not work because a husband clings to his “single life” and for him, buddies are more important than his wife. In this case, the husband has never entered into the world of his wife. He remained an outsider, and alien. Thus, the unity or oneness desired was not met. Moreover, decision-making is one sphere in marital life that this oneness of mind and heart would be exercised. If one spouse does not care for the other’s thought of something, then that contributes to problems in marriage. 

Second, Jesus says further, “Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate.” The Church teaches us the indissolubility of marriage. It is the intention of God that marital commitment is permanent. Now, this is something that modern man and woman could not take. For them, a long-term commitment is not possible. In fact, in other countries, people are content with “partnership.” In two Oceanian countries I went to, I was surprised when some people introduced themselves as “partners” to each other, not husband and wife. Partnership here is understood as a short-term commitment.  For them, partnership is convenient. The moment comes when they are already fed up with each other, they would easily part ways. I remember a Filipina in Australia who jokingly said, “If I don’t like my husband anymore, I would simply leave him and say, ‘See you later (goodbye), alligator!’ ” In a Christian marriage, the matrimony is raised to a sacrament, a sacrament of Christ’s fidelity to the Church. Thus, the faithfulness of husbands and wives is a living sign of Christ’s fidelity. This is a sign that they must show to their children and to the world. If husbands and wives remain faithful to each other, their children would believe in the sacrament of matrimony. The future of Christian families depends on how faithful husbands and wives are to each other. 

Third, one priest says that “a good marriage must be created.” Accordingly, it is not so much of finding the right person for him or for her. There are always problems that come on the way, but what is expected is the capacity to forgive and to forget. Moreover, the key to lasting relationship is love because it is love which binds the relationship for ever. But this love is to be understood in a proper way. This love finds its expression in a spouse’s ability to offer oneself for the other. 

I remember that when the Ronald and Nancy Reagan celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary, both were interviewed by Barbara Walters in her television program. The tv host asked the couple what was their secret of long-lasting married life. The couple could not answer so the host helped them: “Is it because the ratio of giving and taking of love is 50-50?” Here, Nancy disagreed. She said, “if there is a ratio of love, it must be 90-10. 90% giving and only 10% receiving.” Indeed, that is a key to a lifetime marital commitment.

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